First Kiss
by LinkyLex
Summary: A slip of information finally allows Rin and Haru to face the past. 'First kiss' drabble request. One shot.


✗ → "Ne, Haru— Is it true?"

Hushed words broke through the silence which separated the two swimmers, somewhat hesitant in nature as if reluctant to be voiced aloud despite the burning curiousity behind them that could no longer be withheld.

Rin didn't expect a response straight away - he'd be surprised to gain one at all, if he was honest. Not that he would blame the other if he chose not to answer, and though it was doubtful Haru would know what he was referring to with so few words, he still found himself in pause before uttering the phrase that would clarify his question.

✗ → "You quit swimming?"

_Because of… me?_

Stated rather than questioned, such an utterance took more effort, both mental and in turn physical, than he'd imagined. For never had he expected to ever have to speak such a phrase to Haru. Such heavy words, along with the guilt they stirred within him, seemed to void him of all oxygen as they parted his body, leaving only a burning trail in their wake. Though if what Ryugazaki said was true, then he deserved that much.

Having laid his reasons for their meeting out, steely hues took to observing the other, never leaving the face of the raven haired male as they focused, watching for even the smallest of changes, desperately seeking anything his expression might give away. He might never have been able to understand him but that wasn't going to stop him from trying now.

Yet the silence seemed to stretch on and with each second that passed Rin could feel his composure steadily slip away.

✗ → _For once, Haru, speak and be honest. __**Please—**_

With a hint of reticence lacing the undertones of his voice Haruka finally chose to respond. He'd always wondered if he'd have this conversation with Rin; played it out in his mind countless times. Truthfully, it was what he believed he'd always wanted, yet now that his rival stood before him and the question had been posed for real, he suddenly wasn't so sure of that.

Some things were better left unsaid.

Yet it was too late for that. Rin already knew what the answer would be. Still he chose to bring the subject up with Haruka. Clearly, what he sought was not simply confirmation but something else entirely. He could only speculate that it was the shark's attempt at reconciliation and for that he owed him honesty, if nothing else.

"Yes. It's true."

Already he could anticipate the question which would follow. An answer to which he had given to no-one for three long years. Though he tried to prepare himself, finding the words felt like an impossibilty.

✗ → "Why?"

Just how do you tell someone you gave up your passion, your _life_ for their sake?

The answer was: you don't. Yet those crimson eyes seemed to bore into his soul, pleading for an answer and for once he felt as if he could finally understand Rin.

Haru knew that if he had the chance, and the courage, there were many questions he'd ask Rin. Ones which, he desperately sought the answer for, regardless of how painful that truth might be. He knew wouldn't forgive Rin if he were to bypass the questions he'd built up the courage to ask, nor would he appreciate being told what he _'wanted to hear'_ simply to save him a moment's harm. And so he would treat this situation as if it were that.

"When I ran into you that winter I was so happy to see you—" Countless times he'd reminiced about it through the years, that warm feeling inside despite the raging cold of the winter months, at the sight of his friend's face once more.

He'd found himself carried away in the moment, quickly agreeing to the race, or what he saw as a chance to swim with Rin once more, just as they had always done. It was only natural right? A year apart from one of your closest friends would make anyone enthusiastic.

Of course, this was different, wasn't it? With memories of that fleeting happiness came those which crippled him even now, regardless of the time that passed following the event. The images of that event had remained in his mind as vivid as if they had happened yesterday and seemingly nothing could block them out when he was foolish enough to allow himself to delve into the past.

Rin's words that day were ones he doubted he'd ever forget.

"—But when we raced…"

_'I __**quit**__. I'm done swimming.'_

_ Because of… me?_

Never had he thought to ask or assume that something had gone wrong in Australia. After all, when Rin first returned he'd seemed happy, hadn't he? Or had Haruka just not been able to see it?

Either way the reaction elicited that day seemed, to him, to derive only from his victory over the shark. In his mind he was to blame for pain Rin felt. He had beaten him and in turn he had chipped away once more at the boy's goal of pursuing his father's dream

How could he continue to swim with such guilt upon his head?

For the first time since the conversation began, Haru's expression faltered before it caved entirely infront of the watchful eyes of his rival. Gone were the plain features and the wall he built up to hide all that he held within. In their wake lay only a teen who no longer knew how to continue fighting, acting as if he didn't care and that none of this affected him.

How could he? Just look where it had gotten him.

✗ → "Haru…"

Crimson hues widened in turn at such a display of emotion and unaware of his own actions he found himself taking first one, then another step towards the other, concern taking over curiosity and desire for knowledge as he watched the other fall before him with the words that tumbled from his mouth in the next moment.

"I thought my victory was the reason you chose to quit… I couldn't swim knowing I'd done that."

And suddenly everything fell into place, a new light shining over everything Rin thought he knew. Looking at him now it was plain to see there was so much more to Haru than he'd ever given him credit for. Although he passed himself off as strong and uncaring, in reality, the opposite was true. Deep down he was just as fragile as Rin himself.

It had always been that way, hadn't it? He just hadn't been able to see it; hadn't been able to understand the raven like he always wished he could. He only regretted that it had taken all of this for him to finally realise.

Somewhere along the line the raven averted his gaze, throwing his head to the side and forcing dark locks to shield his pitiful expression from the swimmer who had wordlessly closed the gap between them.

Red brows knitted together when Haruka muttered a short, shakey phrase, his own wave of guilt rushing forth. They were each to blame here, both as responsible for allowing this to get out of hand with their inability to communicate with one another, yet it had been Haruka who had been the first to accept that with what followed.

"I'm sorry, Rin."

With a shake of scarlett locks, mostly to shake off whatever that was that pricked at his eyes, the shark's broad arms came to wrap around Haruka, his head burying itself against his shoulder as he uttered back his own muffled apology.

After what seemed like an eternity, he felt the embrace returned to him, with smaller arms wrapping tightly around his back, hands gripping onto the fabric there as if they'd never let go. He hadn't known he'd longed for this until he received it, yet in that moment he could think of nothing but the wasted time they'd spent on rivalry when they could have had something far more precious.

Instincts took over from there, spurred on by the emotions stirred during the embrace. Perhaps he was being too rash, simply allowing himself to be carried away by the turbulence of emotions which came with the first step of mending such a broken friendship, he couldn't know for sure. All he knew, as he pulled back, sparing a hand to tilt Haru's vulnerable face towards him in a bid to force their eyes to meet, was that it felt right.

And as their lips met with the gentle passion of years of denied longing it continued to do so.


End file.
